The day my mom found out she had cancer, she wrote in her journal, “Today is the first day of the rest of my life.” That is the only journal entry she ever wrote. It has me thinking lately about the first day of the rest of my life. What my journals will say about me.
I think about how many journals Laney wrote. For a month before she died, she kept asking me for a new one. She was almost finished with her old one and didn’t want to be without one to write in. She had also been asking me to help her find her old journals. From when she was a kid. I had put them in a box and put them up when she went to college. Wade finally found them. But not until after she was gone.
But the things she wrote in them were great. She was so funny, talking about being mad at her sister when they were in elementary school. She wrote about the things she did with her sisters, and who her friends were. But for the last 4 or so years, she wrote mostly about Jens. About how amazing he is. About how much she loved him. About how she couldn’t wait to give him her forever. How sweet is that?
Having Laney’s journals have been so important to us. It has meant the world to read them and see her growth over the years. To see her personality shine through. It was in her journal that she left her testimony for us. And it has been shared with thousands of people. Oh, I am sure if we shared anything else, she wouldn’t like it. But I am sure she is ecstatic that we are helping others by sharing her amazing testimony now.
It has made my family and others rededicate ourselves to writing in our journals. To make sure that the important things are written down. Like the tender mercies. And the feelings we’ve had through all of this. Because I don’t ever want to forget them.