I got on the computer the other day to erase Laney’s browsing history because of all of this Google privacy stuff. But when I pulled it up, I cried instead. The last thing she had been looking at was a song called I Hope I Make You Proud. It hit me all of a sudden how very proud I was of her. How I hope I make HER proud by the way I act now.
It gives me hope, wanting to make her proud of me. I know she is close, and is watching out for us and finding ways to bless us. So when I consider the actions of each day, I hope I make her proud. I hope that as I try to help others along their way, she knows that part of it it is because I want to make her proud.
As I look back over the things I have done in my life, I ask myself if my kids know how proud I am of THEM. Do they know how I am so proud that they have the courage to stand for what they believe? Proud that they are making good choices? Proud that they belong to ME? Proud at how they serve others? Proud at the young adults they are becoming?
Whatever my new normal becomes without Laney, I hope to make all of my kids proud of ME. Proud that I rise above whatever life throws at me and carry on. Proud that I am not afraid to cry anymore. Proud that I can serve others and find joy in doing it. Proud that I know who is guiding my life and that I too have courage to stand for what I believe. Proud that I can reach outward, even if my heart is broken. Even if I don’t understand the purpose for this trial in our lives.
Whatever life brings us, and through whatever trials we face, I hope I make them proud by the way I live my life. If we face everyday with courage, I have no doubt that those around us will see it, and maybe it will help them carry on. And make themselves proud, too.