Perspective

To say that I have a different perspective on life would be an understatement. Because of the different trials I have been through in my life, I see things a little differently. I have for a while. I like to think that my trials have made me more compassionate. But nothing could have prepared me for the perspective I have now that we have been though such a tragedy as losing Laney.

I cannot look at the news and see that someone else lost their child without my heart breaking. I look at the things that I used to worry about and realize that they just don’t matter anymore. The little things just don’t matter. I can see how much more important my family is to me. How those I hold dear, I try to hold a little tighter to.

But I also see the suffering of others more clearly. Feel the need to lighten their burdens. I find joy in things that I didn’t take the time to notice before. I pay more attention to those around me that may need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. I have had some of my friends say, “You don’t need to listen to my cares because you are going through so much.” But to them I say, I do need to listen. I need to help. It helps to bring me peace and comfort to help others.

So, don’t be afraid to talk to me. Don’t be afraid to talk about Laney. I absolutely love to talk about her. To keep her memories alive. And because she isn’t really gone. She is still my daughter.

I hate that I lost my daughter. I hate that I have to learn how to live without her. I even hate the new perspective I have. But I love the peace I feel when I serve others. When I reach out to strengthen another person. When I put my arm around someone who is struggling and let them know that they can make it through another day. Nothing makes me happier than helping someone else. Just a little added perspective.

~CTR