Happy Easter everyone! My thoughts this week have been a lot with what our Savior did for us. His atonement. About how amazing it was that He suffered, died, and was resurrected FOR US. I cannot imagine how much He must love us.
I have also been thinking about Laney a lot this week. About the Easter traditions that our family has had since Laney was little.We lived in southern Utah until Laney was 13. Every Easter weekend, we would go out to the San Rafael Swell and have an Easter egg hunt with other members of our family.
Hundreds of eggs were colored and then hidden among the nooks and crannies, Usually at a place called “Dino” (It looked like a dinosaurs mouth coming out of the ground). My kids looked forward to this time more than they did the candy they were going to get! We would spend the day with family and then go home all dusty and tired. But we loved every minute of it.
As I look through pictures to post on my blog, I have found a few from when Laney was younger from our trips to the desert that I thought I would share. Looking at them and remembering the good times helps me to know that just as the kids were excited about going to the desert every year, we are now excited for our own Easter weekend. For our own Sunday to come, when the waiting and the cares from this world will be over. When all will be resurrected. When we can see our Savior and Laney again.
I have always believed that having integrity is an essential part of who I am, who I have been thus far in my life. It is something that I try to instill in my children. Sometimes it is by showing them by my own actions. Sometimes it is by helping them to know that a certain decision will lead to integrity.
Having the courage to stand for what we believe is also integrity. Laney did that repeatedly. You always knew where you stood with her, and she was not afraid to tell you what you were doing was not right. Peer pressure did not influence her. Integrity did.
Integrity goes right along with courage. If we do the right thing because it is right, not because of what others think, that is courage and integrity. I love that the two are intertwined. Because I need the courage. Because I strive to live with integrity, I hope my kids see that it is something they want to have as well. So far, it is working.
When I decided to start this blog I knew that I wanted to share Laney’s story with the hopes that it would encourage others. To help them know that they can make it through whatever hard things they are going through. But Laney’s story is also my family’s story now.
Sometimes through this journey of life, we have mountains placed in our way. Everyone will have their own struggles and hardships. While I am not ready to say I am okay with losing Laney, that it has helped me to be a better person, I can say I am trying to piece my life back together. I know that eventually I will make it through. That eventually it will be my beautiful heartbreak. But not yet. I will say that the things that have happened since her accident have been amazing. How her testimony has been shared to thousands of people. How her example and legacy continue to live on. The new perspective I have on life.
All of the pain we are going through, all of the heartbreak of losing Laney, has been so hard. There aren’t even words to describe it. Oh, I know that someday things will be softer, easier. He is picking up the pieces of our broken hearts even now. We have seen tender mercies along the way that show us that we will make it. That He is mindful of us. We have to go through this to get where He wants us to be in our life.
I have no doubt that I will come out on top of this particular mountain. I am choosing to face each day with courage. To be strong. To be an example to others. To be more like Laney.