This post is what Laney said. Literally. It was something that I found very recently that Laney had written just before she left for her first year at college. It says so much about my daughter that it amazes even me. I have no doubt that this was one of those tender mercies that let me know that my Father in Heaven is aware of me. That when I am struggling with missing Lane, He gives me something like this. Knowing what we know now, I hope you can look at this post from a retrospective point of view and see that what Lane saw then was indeed for us now.
“August 6, 2009 at 1:43am
As I continue to grow up I find myself thinking about all the things that are going to change, which for me is a lot! Some people are living at home, while others of us are going to have to find new activities, new friends, and a new place to call home. I’ve moved many times throughout my teenage years. It’s not as easy as it seems to find a place where you actually feel as if you belong. For me, Box Elder, Brigham, BC, whatever..was that place. So now coming to this time in my life, where I have to leave the only place I’ve ever felt truly satisfied with calling home is a big struggle.
I honestly believe that I have made the best friends any person could ever dream of having! Friends are really important to me. They helped shape me into the person I have become today. A me that even I love. My friends are an incredible example to me. I find qualities in them that I someday wish to also posses. Yes, I know I will make new friends wherever I go. Yet, right now, the friends I have and the [memories] we’ve made, are enough for me. I know that in time I will see things differently. The friends I have now, have made incredibly lasting impressions on my heart. And have forever changed my outlook on life<3. Leaving the people I love and not being as big a part of their lives anymore, is really gonna hurt. I don’t want to miss out out on things in their lives, and likewise for them.
“There is nothing more constant than Change.”-(Pres. Monson.) Change at the time seems completely and totally terrible but through my experience, I’ve always learned from it, and have become [better] because of it. This is just another step in the “never ending racetrack we call life.“-(Jonas Brothers) As hard as it is to accept the fact that I’m moving on to bigger and better things, I know it’s a part of life. Something we all go through at one point or another. I wish I would’ve better prepared myself for it.
I’m a very sentimental person. I take the [memories] and the lessons I’ve learned and hold on to them so tight because I’m afraid to lose them. I don’t feel now as if I’m losing them, more involuntarily giving them up. As one chapter in my life ends and the new one begins, I find myself more and more each day wishing it didn’t have to be this way.That I could just live the life I have now. But I know it has to be this way in order to grow and succeed in life. I won’t be doing what anyone else wants for me, it’s all up to me now. I no longer can just slip by in life..no one is going to be there pushing me. I have to live up to no one’s expectations but my own.
It’s all a part of growing up, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunities and privileges I have received throughout my life. I’m happy with the way things are. And I’m excited for the way they’re going to be! Life may seem so confusing and frustrating at times..but it’s all for our good. I’ll continue to learn and hopefully someday be that person that I want to become. ”