Temple Open House and Dedication

They announced the open house for our temple the day before Laney’s birthday. I am so excited! There are so many emotions running through me about it.

While our whole town has been excited about the temple being completed, it has special meaning for our family. When they broke ground, we went very early in the morning to get a seat as possible. The entire town had this hush and spirit that day that is difficult to describe. We got a chance to use the golden shovels and turn some of the dirt, too. And it was all amazing.

Ally, Laney and Addisyn waiting for the Angel Moroni to be put on the temple

Then last summer they put the Angel Moroni on top of the east spire. It was a day I couldn’t be there. But Laney took her two sisters and went down early to get a good seat. Her sisters had just had surgery on both of their feet a few weeks earlier and were in boots and wheel chairs. Yet Laney took them to this amazing, once in a lifetime event. She wanted them to be there and was so excited for them to be with her.

As we have watched the temple rise, I have such bittersweet emotions about it. Laney so was stinking excited about the temple. When she would pick me up at the bus station after work, she would point out every new thing that had been done each day. It was like a little girl in a candy shop, she was so excited. that is why the temple is such a prominent part of her memorial. I think about that every time I drive by the temple.

I wish so badly that she could be here to see it completed. She would undoubtedly have been the first in line to go through. But then I have to remind myself that she has already seen it. That she is still as excited as ever, and that it still means everything that it did to her while she was here. And knowing that brings me comfort.


Count Your Other Blessings

This blog is mostly about having the courage to move on after losing my daughter Laney. But I wanted to mention my other blessings. My other kids. I have four other daughters and a son who are amazing in their own right.

They are all struggling in their own way over losing Laney. But they, too, look forward to the future when we will all be together again. They have faith that if we trust in Him, we will be ok. We can even be happy again. His promises are sure.

So, I am going to introduce you to my family. Alyssa is my oldest. She and Laney did everything together growing up. We had Laney as soon as we did because Alyssa needed a friend. They are 18 months apart. They played sports together until Alyssa graduated from high school.

Kaden is my only boy. Laney was his champion. I wonder if his disability is helping to shield him from some of the pain of losing his sister….

Brynna has been Laney’s best friend for the past several years. They did everything together. Laney’s friends were Brynna’s friends. They still are.

Ally is just like Laney. She not only looks like her, but she acts like her, too. She loves the same things Laney did. Her sisters tell her that she even laughs like Laney. And she loves every second of it.

Addisyn is Ally’s twin sister. She is very witty and likes to help make rough situations light. She is probably doing the best of everyone. She misses her sister, but is also very quick to point out that we will see her again.

See what I mean when I say my kids are amazing? I love them very much!


Strong Enough to Live It

While visiting with one of my ecclesiastical leaders ( a.k.a a member of the stake presidency, President D) last night, he told me how much my family inspires him. And that we inspire a lot of other people who are watching us. I was completely blown away. I told him that we are just plugging along, and that we are taking it one day at a time. We aren’t doing anything that should inspire others. But he quickly told me otherwise.

He said that our faith and willingness to put our trust in Him is an inspiration to many, many people. I am still confused. I am just living my life the best I can. I think that is all we can do. What choice do we have but to keep putting one foot in front of the other? Before we know it, we will find that by enduring to the end, and enduring it WELL, we will have made it.

I still wonder why we had to lose Laney. Why I had to learn a different perspective this way. President D told me that there are people who envy our perspective, but would never want to go through what we have to get it. I don’t blame them. I don’t want to go through it either. But I am. I guess I was given this life because I was strong enough to live it, after all.